Luke and I just got home from a super-fun getaway while Grandma watched the kids. We headed down to the Seton Southwest Resort and Spa at 1826 and 71. I present to you:
5 Reasons to take a Three-Day Vacation to the Hospital
5. The people at the hospital are so cheerful and confident, it will start to rub off on you, too! They'll tell you something momentous and life-altering will happen by noon, and by golly you'll believe them. And when it hasn't come by four, but still they doggedly confirm that yes! something truly special is just about to happen, you will still believe them. They're just that confident. When this miracle of miracles does in fact happen around six-ish, they'll smile so confidently in a way that shows they knew it all along.
4. If at some point your blood pressure drops abnormally they'll give you a neat-o drug called Ephedrine. It's just like having "six cups of coffee"! For someone who's never had one cup of coffee, its also like sticking two wet butter knives into an electrical socket.
3. Unlimited snacks! Sure, there's Gatorade and cookies, hot chocolate and jello, but don't forget why you came: Prune juice and sugar-free chocolate pudding. Speaking of food, there are more cheerful, confident people there who will bring you trays and trays of food labelled "High Fiber." Of course, you didn't even have to ask to be brought these. They just know this is exactly the kind of spinachy-beany-brown ricey food that you will love. Mmmm.
2. At the hospital they're are fun little machines and monitors with colored, flashing buttons. You'll be excited to explore, so go ahead, push some of those buttons. Just see what happens next! Maybe you'll find the button called "Nurse Call." You might find out that this single button does nothing at all. This might lead to a fun game for your husband where he gets to run out into the hall yelling "Nurse!" and then lots of people run after him and the first one to catch a baby wins!
And finally, the best reason to take a three-day vacation to the hospital:
1. They'll let you take one of these home as a souvenir!
Welcome Ivy Rose!
8 lbs, 11 oz
Black hair and dimples!